So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
