im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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