i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
