I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
