I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In other news, I just burned my penis
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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