I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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