Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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