i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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