wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
