Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
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