i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
