Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
