How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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