i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
