I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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