I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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