You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
