i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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