I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
