Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
