he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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