If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
