jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
