Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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