Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
