Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
