i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
