# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
