the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
