I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
