I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
