just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
