your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
