I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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