Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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