I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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