just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
