Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When are your genitals available?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
