I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
