It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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