Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
