Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
