Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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