Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
