Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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