That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
