Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't deserve a penis
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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