i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
