I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
