if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
