Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
