I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
