She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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