PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize