We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
