why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
