I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
