My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize