i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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