Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Bring me that man meat
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
