So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
