I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
