like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
